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939 out of 1006 Americans (and most of their pets) are constipated. No surveys were taken, this is just a rough estimate based on varying information and guessing. Why are so many people having problems? We really can't say since we at the makers of Asseline are in bed with the top food-producing corporations. But there's nothing to be worried about once you get new Asseline!
Directions are self-explanatory. Use generously, however, so you can buy more of our product.
Testimonial - "I used to have trouble going. Day after day I would sit there for hours. After using Asseline my life has changed! Now it slides right out! It's almost like having anal leak..."
And remember:
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  4th, 2010
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Come. The United States is in trouble. US Code Title 4 Section 8 Paragraph (a) The flag should never be displayed with the union down, except as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property. Enlightening Videos Loose Change (Original Version) Alex Jones at American Scholars Symposium Martial Law - 9/11: Rise of the Police State
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